sometimes

sometimes i write my blog posts when i'm sad. sometimes i write them when i'm happy. these shouldn't be used to judge how i'm doing overall as a person. it's just how i'm doing at this moment. For example: this morning, I was fantastic! loved being home visiting! loved going to the high school graduation and seeing people! blah blah blah! and now! I feel pathetic! i am feeling sad, depressed,
and like i don't have a spot right now in the world.
Overall, i would like to say that i am happy, funny, optimistic.  I just have a lot of "moments" where i break down.
i hope i can make it through this next month and a half...if i stop posting, you will know what happened to me. death by college will be written on my tombstone. oh! also! since i don't write ANYTHING negative or that i think will worry Cody in the least bit, in the letters to him, most of that comes onto here instead. this is my journal during these two years and he isn't going to be reading this till he gets back.