merrg

i don't know why but tonight i am feeling very frustrated. for absolutely nothing. i get frustrated listening to love songs cause i just want it! i get frustrated looking at pictures of babies, cause i want one! i get frustrated seeing cute couples, cause i want that to be me! ETC! you get the point!

i am so frustrated because i just want cody here with me so bad! i need him to listen to me. it is so hard to handle things without him. and i feel so selfish because i feel this way and then that upsets me more.

so i cry. and then i realize for the millionth time that CRYING DOES NOTHING! it doesn't bring him back so i might as well just stop it already! you would think my heart would get the message! it might as well stop hurting so much, i already know i have a long ways to go still.