1 year

Cody and I said our goodbye at the end of 2011. 2012 is now officially over and we have started 2013. 1 year. One whole year apart.

And we won't see each other until late 2014. 

I do have to say that the months seem to be passing faster and faster, but that doesn't make them any easier. Life without my Cody is hard. Especially during the holidays. I am sad to say that I am relieved that the holidays are over. 

My Christmas this year was so sad. I wish it wasn't. I kept on saying Happy Birthday prayers to Jesus. It's his special day right? How can I be so selfish? 

But it does feel like a part of me is literally missing it hurts so bad. 

tonight i broke down pretty bad. sometimes i wish i could just take the pain away. 

"You know I already love our children don't you? You know that I'll treat them right?  You know i'll never leave then, or my beautiful wife? I want to dance with my daughters and tell them how very beautiful they are. I want to teach my sons how to do, make, and act, and instruct them how to love a woman. I will teach our kids of love by my example. I will continue to date you, long after our "I Do's". I will find the time to play, and listen when they want to talk. I want to teach them with love."