Gone

The love of my life flew to Sao Paulo, Brazil on Tuesday, April 3rd, 2012. That was probably one of the saddest days of my life.  My body and mind felt numb when he called me and said that he was saying goodbye.  I was at the grocery store.
"please don't give up on me"
Looking back at it now, I wish so bad that I had said more to him but all I did say was "I love you. Bye honey" Then I hung up the phone and I remember seeing chips and soda and listening to the song "here comes goodbye" by rascall flatts. Perfect song right? I went home and sobbed on my bed for a good while and then got up and went and washed some dishes and started cleaning our kitchen.  Then I went back to my room and started crying again.  My roommates must have heard me because they came in and just gave me a hug and said they loved me.  That night I didn't sleep at all. Literally.  Cody always calls me when I can't sleep.  He would sing love songs to me, talk about nerdy things, or tell me fairy tale stories which he would make up which somehow involved some sort of princess named Amy. I miss him so much it literally hurts me.


Now that I have said my sad side of the story, I have to say that I am so proud of Elder Norman.  Him leaving on his mission is what I have been praying to my Heavenly Father to for so very long.  Now that I have gotten what I have asked for, how can I not be grateful?  This is the most bittersweet thing I have ever gone through.  And I KNOW that this is the best blessing that will come into either of our lives.  I just smile thinking about how amazing of a missionary he is going to be/is! Yes, sometimes I sit in my room, staring at my phone, waiting for his text message that says "i love you", or stare at his picture and cry, or listen to our love playlist, BUT I am trying SO hard to not let those emotions overpower my life.  I'm not going to be depressed because I am being granted an amazing blessing by God.  My life is great!  I just have to figure out how I am going to live without him.  I know that I need to grow spiritually, mentally, emotionally, just like he is going to be.  Yes it is going to be hard.  I know that.  Good thing I have my Heavenly Father to help me with this.
I love you Elder Norman! Come back to me.

Cody and his Stake President right after he became an official missionary!

In Brazil Safe! Here he is with the whole group who flew in that day with him!
(Second row from the front. First guy on the left)