"I love you more than I know how to feel"

Thursday, January 31, 2013

20 days left!

I just LOVE listening and finding music that speaks to me about this whole waiting process! It's the best! (nacho libre voice!)

I really truly feel like the past two months have actually been easy! Yes, I just said the word easy! =)  I think that getting ready for my mission has made the time FLY BY!
We are almost done with month ten! CRAZY!
So my feelings about my mission?!
The closer and closer it gets, the more and more scared I get! I keep thinking to myself "What did I get myself into?!"
I am truly excited! I am just so nervous! I have been talking to all my RM buddies and they keep on giving me comforting advice!
I have just started my farewell talk! Which is going to be on the 10th by the way! (anyone reading this is totally invited! Benton City, Wa church building!)
yeah, i'm totally nervous about my farewell talk.
and about going through the temple on the 9th!
and about my whole mission in general!
I have actually been breaking out pretty bad recently (TMI? sorry!) because of stress. =( But I always do that so it should only be expected. Sigh!
SO! I have one more week of my pharmacy job! My last day is on the 8th! and then I get a week off to pack and such and then the next wednesday i'm out of here! I haven't gotten any ticket information yet but I think I should be getting an email soonish.
I have my garments and my temple dress ( SO pretty!) and pretty much ALL of my mission stuff. I just need to pack up my room and pink polka dot suitcases. Yes, thats right! You heard me! Pink Polka Dots!!!

I need to clean up my car. And get some boxes ready for Cody! and I need to study study study! and finish my farewell talk. Did I mention that my two sisters and I are going to sing that day in church as well? Oh! and I forgot that I need to plan my openhouse/goodbye party for me.
So much to do! So little time!

Saturday, January 19, 2013


So last Friday, at nine thirty, I signed a paper and a nurse gave me five injections of sickness.
I have never had a shot before in my life. I have been immunization free my whole life until last friday. It took a while to decide that I would get them. Lots of prayers and I finally decided I would do anything to serve a mission for my Heavenly Father.
So yesterday, exactly a week later, I drive home from work and wonder why my jaw hurt so much. And then I got a fever, red spots on my arms, and then right behind my jaw started to swell up. Not so much fun! I realized that it was the side effects from my shots, probably the mumps shot. So I took a bath and accidentally fell asleep. WOW! I woke up about three hours later in cold water shivering. It was AWFUL!
So anyways, that is my exciting adventure of getting my mission shots!
But I do want to share another wonderful adventure!
Last Saturday, the day after I got my shots, I went shopping with my two mommy's. Cody's mom and my mom and I were all going wedding dress shopping! Well, we were just going to try on wedding dresses for fun! Since I am wanting to get married a month after I get back from my mission, we were just going to get an idea of what kind of dresses I liked/wanted.
So we went into David's Bridal and I got to look through the beautiful dresses and pick out a few that I liked and I got to try them on. Well, after about three dresses, the lady went out and said, I know just the dress. She brought back a dress and I put it on and walked out of the dressing room. Well, once I saw myself in the mirror, I just couldn't believe how beautiful it was!
After twirling and twirling in front of the mirror for a long time, my two mommy's were whispering to eachother and then told me that if I was sure that THIS was the dress and if I LOVED it, I could get it today. I couldn't believe it! Of course there were some tears and I got to ring the bell that announced when a girl had found her dress! It was a really special moment for me!
Oh what a beautiful princess dress it is!
I wish I could post a picture of it, but I cannot! Cody will be reading my blog while I am on my mission and I can't have him seeing it! (Sorry honey!)
I can't wait for our wedding day when I can wear my dress and he can see it!

and this next song is another possibility for our wedding dance song! SO beautiful! It wasn't on youtube so i put a link below!

And I have been having way too much fun on a website morphing pictures of cody and me and making babies
look how cute they are!

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

stuff to doo

So an update about me, AMY!
I have 44 days left before I am a missionary!!! =D I have gotten my endowment interview and reccomend. My stake president interview to go to the temple is set for Jan 20th. My vaccinations are scheduled for this friday morning. and my pink polka dot luggage set came today!
I have been spending some time with the missionaries here. I have gone out on splits a couple times and I LOVE it!!! I am going to help the missionaries out again on Thursday evening and I plan on continuing to do so regularly until I leave!
I have about one solid month more to work at the pharmacy and then i'm done. My last week of work is the first week of February.
So for now, I have been writing lists of things i need to do before I go.
That's how I work =) with lists.
I have to do lots of missionary paperwork stuff
sort through my clothes
sort through my room/pack it all up
edit my last pictures
get some boxes ready for Cody
buy last minute missionary things (watch, water bottle, tights, boots, etc.)
buy my garments and temple clothing
write letters to my missionary friends

Cody always informs me that he has dreams about me and that he thanks God for sending them to him because they are special treats. well, all I can say is that i'm jealous.
I NEVER dream of Cody. at least I hardly ever do. Actually last night I dreamed that he came home! but they never last long. I get to the first embrace and tears! and then the dream stops. It makes me sad. I wonder if it is because I can't remember anything?
I have a feeling that the time here on after is going to speed by. It has already started. The weeks are wizzing by! Before I know it I will be in his arms again!

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

1 year

Cody and I said our goodbye at the end of 2011. 2012 is now officially over and we have started 2013. 1 year. One whole year apart.
And we won't see each other until late 2014. 

I do have to say that the months seem to be passing faster and faster, but that doesn't make them any easier. Life without my Cody is hard. Especially during the holidays. I am sad to say that I am relieved that the holidays are over. 

My Christmas this year was so sad. I wish it wasn't. I kept on saying Happy Birthday prayers to Jesus. It's his special day right? How can I be so selfish? 
But it does feel like a part of me is literally missing it hurts so bad. 

tonight i broke down pretty bad. sometimes i wish i could just take the pain away. 

"You know I already love our children don't you? You know that I'll treat them right?  You know i'll never leave then, or my beautiful wife? I want to dance with my daughters and tell them how very beautiful they are. I want to teach my sons how to do, make, and act, and instruct them how to love a woman. I will teach our kids of love by my example. I will continue to date you, long after our "I Do's". I will find the time to play, and listen when they want to talk. I want to teach them with love."