I had someone say to me "you better write him your dear john now. it's better sooner than later"
Do people not understand how insensitive that is to my feelings?? I am assuming some people may think that I haven't thought about this at all. That I am "throwing my life away" for two years! That is SO the opposite of what I am doing! This experience is helping me grow! And my life is NOT on hold! I am living, and experiencing, and having fun, and learning, and growing, and making friends!
And I am tired of people telling me that I am a distraction! I am not! I KNOW that I am a support to him! and it hurts me when people tell me otherwise. I have spent a lot of time on my knees praying to my Heavenly Father about this. Right now, this is what i'm supposed to be doing.
Do not listen to those nay-sayers. I realize for most missionaries having a girlfriend CAN be a distraction. I don't see that with Cody. If anything you were the fuel to the fire that burned in him to accomplish this goal and move forward in his life. If the Dear John letters come (from you OR from him) and sure it would be the most bittersweet, loving letter. What I've always said to people when they've questioned your decision (and Cody's), so that you've been together four years, that your relationship has been based on a friendship - that it hasn't been physical; meaning, the two of you have always been able to maintain control of those feelings that get other people in trouble. I think just that says a lot for who you both are as people. AND, for how much respect you have for one another. Yes, you both will grow in ways you can't even know right now. How can you?! Does anyone know their future? This much I do know, *waiting* can't be seen as a mistake. I'm *waiting* too - just in a different way. The desire of my heart is to support him emotionally and spiritually. And I know that is your intent too. If all that comes from this is a very strong friendship than is anything lost at all? We love you and we are thankful for your good example. You have always been a righteous daughter of God - and we're proud of you :)
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